... then we fly home.

I'm not looking forward to leaving the sunshine or the lake behind, but I am looking forward to getting home. Stampede and the activities that go along with it should be fun too.

I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, and not having to live in someone else's space. I'm weird and can't hardly stand to shower in someone else's place. It all depends on who's place, how we know each other and what the circumstances are.... And I'm certainly comfortable in some peoples places. Just not here for some reason.

I'm really looking forward to lounging in my yard with my awesome new fence that I have yet to see. Maybe some nude sunbathing is in order? Can't have tan lines... ;)

I'm really (!!) looking forward to a party at my place on Wednesday afternoon. Tequila shooters and BBQ. yum. Small gatherings are always my favorite! Get too many people involved and it just becomes a gong show.

There's so much I'm looking forward to on the other end of that flight tomorrow that I wish it would just hurry up and get here already. As much as this has been fun, I'm ready to go home now.

Everyone else seems to be turning in early for the night, so I suppose I should follow suit.

I have 10 000 pictures to upload, I've been putting off sifting through them. I'll inundate you with pictures later.

This evening has been surmised by +35*C weather, tequila and extreme amounts of pain!

I took out my hair extentions this evening cause they were pulling at my scalp, but the short story of it all is basically... I used a glue bonding agent rather than getting them put int with a weave. weave = money / bonding = cheap. I only needed them for a short period of time, namely for part of the music video shoot. But I had no idea of the pain and hours needed to get them out! God-mother-fucking-damnit! It hurt like nothing else my scalp has ever felt! And I'm left with chunks of latex like goop clinging to my scalp, and greasy hair from the mineral oil I needed to get it out in the first place. And I've already washed my hair 3 times! Never ever ever again will I use a glue bonding agent to put in hair extentions! EVER! I'll pay the $100 to have them sewn in. God DAMN! Taking those things out was an extrenious amount of pain. *shudder*

Well... the holiday is going great! Lots of time on the private beace, lots of drinks, lots of sun. It's been a blast! Were headed back to Kelowna tomorrow, and I'm sure we'll veg out there too. On the home front, the fence construction is going well too & should be done by the time I get home. I may be slightly tipsy atm... so please ignore any typos. ;) But yessum I have some pictures and will take some more pictures at the winerys tomorrow. Unfortunately they are all on the camerea still so for the moment this will have to suffice. It's a shot of me on our friends place's spare room before I started taking out my hair extentions. I have about zero makeup on and it was even before my coffee!

Arrived in Lake Country a couple hours ago, and have been fighting to get internet access. My silly airport express doesn't want to connect to the router here, but fortunately we were able to connect to the other router. Which basically just means I can't be on the internet and streaming music to the stereo at the same time cause they are on different networks! Grr.. Only a slight inconvenience.

Anyways, enough of this indoors stuff. I'm heading out to the patio!

Tomorrow we head to Osoyoos to see a friends significant others place cause he lives right on the lake and has his own pool too! Fun!

I shall be out of town and away from the computer for the next 5 days! I'm headed to the Okanagan for some nicer weather, wine tours and hopefully some relaxing time by the pool. Then home for a few days mid week with a quick turn around for some camping debauchery the following weekend.

It all sounds like a lot of fun and it probably will be, but I'm really not so excited about packing everything tonight. So expect some silence on my behalf. Possibly some picture updates if I can remember. I think it'll be nice to have some well needed time away from renovations and staring endlessly into a computer screen.

It's times like this I wish I had a way to shoot myself in some of the great locations out there! I know it's possible, I just don't have the gear yet. Maybe at some point I'll be able to make that work. But for now I'll just have to enjoy taking snapshots like everyone else on vacation. haha

I will try and update with some candids during my escapades!

Speaking of escapades... I'm a spoiled little girl this week! My favoritest aunt has been m.i.a from our lives for a while due to personal issues, but this week she called and wanted to go shopping to 'catch up' for some missed birthday/christmas presents. hehehe And I love her and she really didn't need to get me anything but I am still a girl and a girl never refuses shoe shopping! So I got these killer heels, and the coolest pair of sneakers I've ever seen! No pictures of the sneakers yet, but it's all about the heels anyways. ;)




And yes I (nearly) always strip down to my undies and put on my favorite heels when I'm enjoying a brew after work.

I'm just a nudist at heart. <3

Alright here are some shots from the day we shot for the music video. No shots of the wrap party dinner yet, but I should have some of those in about a week.

Last night was the wrap party for the Liminal State video shoot project. It was pretty sweet getting to meet everyone involved. Being just a hired actress in it I had not met any of these wicked people before, but I must say they were pretty rad. Good food, good company and really good wine! Made for a very fun evening! Unfortunately I had to head out early (11ish) cause the sun had set and it was starting to get dark... and our cars' rear tail lights are f'd up. (-> it's a wiring problem which is common in our that specific make & model, but sucks cause we can't figure out where the problem is. Not too bad, just no driving at night.) So unfortunately I had to take my delicious cheesecake dessert to go, but it was still just as delicious when we got home. :)

Kyle mentioned he should have a mini trailer for the videos in maybe a month or so? Which is exciting! I can't wait to share the video. Well, truthfully I'm kinda scared I'll look foolish in it cause I'm not really an actress, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

So if you haven't checked out their stuff yet it's www.myspace.com/theliminalstate

K, I'm gonna go have a beer and enjoy the lingering awesomeness that is the start of summer!

So I've been trying to wrap my head around this for a long while, and I'll be honest and say that I'm not much further ahead of where I started. The dialog in my head is circular, so perhaps writing it out may help.

Senerio:

Girl starts modeling - meets fabulous photographer & becomes his muse.

They shoot consistently, and there's an instant bond... Girl become model, and awakens a creativity she's not felt before. She feels safe knowing all the concepts she brings to the table are well received, and that his ideas are just as justified and beautiful. Skill levels grow over time and their connectivity is be hard to replicate outside of their pairing. Certainly it's an emotionally based connection, but not relationship orientated. Rather an innate understanding and intrigue?

It's lighting the air on fire and reading minds. It's vulnerability without words, just pictures.

How to continue when that inevitably falls apart?

How can a muse continue being, without anyone to interact with and capture that essence? Does that essence end with the growth of that particular schism? Or perhaps go dormant, awaiting the next spark? Can it come back given the right circumstances?

I'm so torn on whether to work on being a better all-around model and possibly lose the passion by doing so? Or try to find someone else that yearns for that insatiable photographic connection as well. It seems impossible to find someone of the same passion & experience that is interested in what I'm interested in! This turmoil is actually causing me physical pain!

I know that I have met some incredible people in my time modeling but either they don't seem interested, they don't relate to me on a base level or there is that spark but they live so far away that it's impossible to get to 'that' point.

help? thoughts?

I've been trying to upload this thing for the last few days, and blogger has had some issues...

On the weekend we were bored and thought we'd go for a picnic! But all of the picnic spots in town are always over crowded or we've been there 100 times. So we thought what the hell! Let's do Drumheller! David had mentioned a few weeks before hand that he'd never been to Drumheller, which living in Calgary is nearly impossible to believe since -everyone- has gone to Drumheller to see the dinosaurs! So when we decided to have our impromtu road trip we got a hold of David and off we went!

2 hours driving along the prairies can get a bit tedious, but the guys managed to keep us all entertained with movie anicdotes and bantering over what movies were good or not. When we arrived it's almost always the most fun as you descend into the valley that is Drumheller! It's such a weird feeling after watching fields go by for hours and hours to suddenly drop into this revine. The landscape is almost prehistoric, and it's easy to envison prehistoric creatures running everywhere.

So we stopped at the tourist station to get direction to the hoodoos, but they only gave us directions to the silly tourist hoodoo spot! So we kept going and went adventuring back in a part where I'd actually had a photoshoot some years ago. So same general area as where this next shot was taken, only the picture was probably 3 years ago now... haha


It's an outtake/candid shot taken by PhiPhotography of me and MacSwift taken August '06. The lighting was really harsh and not much was useable but we had fun anyway!

Anyways! After food we packed up and headed to an old abandoned farm house to show to David, cause like I said before... He doesn't get out much. And he had never been to one! So we headed down the road to an abandoned place that Mac and Rob had showed me 3 years prior on that last time to Drumheller. David had hoped to find some relic left by the previous owners, but this place has obvisouly been abandoned for some time now and not much was left.

So then we continued on home and after what seemed like and eternity finally were able to crash on the couch with a cold beer. Mmmm I love the weekends!

There were a lot o things we had hoped to do but didn't plan enough ahead of time to actually pull off. Like we had hoped to go to the Royal Tyrell Museum, and the Creationist Museum (hehe, common that's an atheists playground!) and I probably should of thought to bring our real video camera instead of just my macbook, and maybe a cooler would of been handy too... haha But we had screen and cold beers in the fridge at home, so it all worked out alright.

Oh and the song is 'the mission' by Jonas. Jonas doesn't have a name for his tunes yet but we're open to suggestions. But a special note for Mac + other music dorks: Jonas did this song on FL.

I feel kinda all over the map tonight... Way over multitasking at nothing in particular, if that makes sense.

I'm elbows deep into figuring out Logic (music making mumbojumbo) while having the musical attention span of a goldfish (listened to everything on my itunes at least once in random succession) AND I've been drawn to youtube multiple times this evening as if it's a shiny object I simply can't resist! I find this mildly perplexing cause I'm not normally this ADD. hmm Must concentrate more or I'll never figure out where everyhing is in Logic.

Anyways on the music making note: we may be putting up a new myspace for Js' music endeavors. Hopefully it will be more of a collaborative effort between us but for that to happen I need to figure out Logic. I'll likely be the one managing the 'social networking' for the music project cause he lacks the social skills to play nice on the interwebs.

Aight. Back to the trenches.


And cause I haven't posted anything naked in a while:

Shot by Scott Gordon

Me, Kyle & Jonas at the end of filming on Friday. It was a pretty long day, and we had to do another half day Saturday as well. I think the shooting went really well, but the true magic will happen in the editing room.

Kyle is the guy in the middle of the video and the artist behind the projec. He's the creative force that is Liminal State and is friends with the people at North Country Cinema. Here's a shot I stole from the website which summarizes the project.

The long hair is making another appearance! woot. It's only slightly varied from the first time cause I'm far more red now, and I have bangs. :)


And some sexiness from the first time I had long hair...


Pictures shot by Darren of SublimeImages.

lamesauce. Yesterday before booking anything on the seat sale, I messaged a few people in LA that I'd previously talked to about working with; only to be let down. Between people not getting back to me, and people backing out.... I don't think I'd be able to earn enough money to cover the trip. I'm sure if I milked it I could get more work, but I'm really trying to work off of a pre-established lineup, cause it gives me a far better perspective of how long to book a trip for and what the budget would be. So I even though I miss everyone down there, and I know I'd line up some awesome trade shoots, I couldn't rationally book anything without knowing my budget. Boo!

There is one more sale tonight, so not all hope is lost. But that's only if people actually get back to my and commit asap. And hopefully I'll still be functioning by that time in the evening, cause tonight I'm going to the rippers with Chris & miss Marla. Maybe a weekend to T.O should be where I look instead of LA. Gunckle (my bff's fabulously gay uncle) lives in downtown toronto and I have an open invitation to crash in his spare room. Toronto or even Vancouver makes more sense, but who likes being logical anyway?

Spread the word to other models/photographers who were hoping to do some travel this month. It's got the potential to be awesome, and I don't know about for anyone else but this screams LA or NY depending on the options they give us. I've got enough reason to visit either city so hopefully lady luck is on my side for once!

The music video is moving ahead as planned.

Had our wardrobe meeting today, half day sunset shoot tomorrow. Then Friday is the main day with both me & Jonas. Only glitch is that their makeup artist has fallen through for the day, and now I'm going through my list of people who may be into it from when I was working as a makeup artist hoping someone can fill in short notice. gah! Cause there is no chance I'm doing it for the three of us in the scene that day. Nope, no way no how! I'm way too rusty at makeup to pick it up and nail a music video shoot. So hopefully one of the girls will jump on it and get back to me asap.

I'm kind of debating bringing in my own photographer to do stills during the video... It hadn't even been brought up that they had someone lined up, and when I called to find out they said it was some random photographer I haven't heard of. So I checked out their site and their website doesn't really display that style of work whatsoever. (Not that that's such a bad thing, but it leaves room for doubt) So, lately I've been in touch with an old highschool buddy who's got serious skill at shooting and getting that visceral film grain that I think this project deserves/demands. So, I'm torn. I don't want to step on any toes, but I want to ensure that there are good quality shots. Hmmm I don't really care if they have someone else as well, I may push a bit to get Josh in for at least part of the day. We'll see.

K, must go redye my hair & extensions tonight and it sounds like Jonas just got home from the store with the hair dye. yay!