Today I shot a 9mm Glock and a 9mm Beretta (i think) at a shooting range. It was our 'treat' for new years since we're just curling up at home tonight. We've talked about doing it for some time and today just seemed like a really good day. Perfect way to end the year with a bang.. so to speak.

Since hand guns are so controversial I thought I'd share my thoughts on why I wanted to learn how to shoot. As much as a handgun is bad in the Detroit gangster way... That's not the intent and certainly not why I wanted to learn how to shoot a gun. I have a huge respect for guns and fully understand the power they have, and I've understood that from childhood.

I believe in hunting. And I hope to learn from my dad/uncles how to hunt in the next few years. They were all active hunters till they had families, now that the kids are older they are getting back into it. But at this point I'm not a hunter, and my only goal is to learn to hit the mark. I strive to be a marksman.

I'm not a vegetarian, actually I'm a meatatarian. I eat flesh.

I like taxidermy. Not really of the hunting variety but I like weirdo skeletal things. And all things considered I'm actually pretty morbid.

I think it's sexy. There's something unique that commands respect when someone knows how to maneuver a gun properly. Key word - properly.

Our society is so en grained in war and fighting each other, it's almost silly not to know how to defend yourself, I see it as a self preservation thing. Very similar to how I view driving, being a good driver can save your life. But the ultimate truth is that when you get in your vehicle you are at risk. A stupid person can kill you with their car far easier than they can kill you with a gun. And really, I'm selfish. On a primal level if you're a threat to my family; I will take you the fuck out. Gun or no gun.

Well and the tiny part of me that is waiting for a zombie invasion really wants to know how to shoot just in case. And like I found today it's not easy as you might think. Those things can be hard to wrangle for a little girl like me. I managed but I way preferred the second gun I tried. I'd hate to have zombie invade and not know how to aim. Amo can be hard to come by in zombie invasions.

*heh*

And my little brag moment of the night is that I got the headshot on our target. We were sharing a gun/target so it's kinda hard to tell who hit what but I specifically checked to see if the head had been hit before I tried it, and I nailed it. My target initially was way off but by the end I was getting far more comfortable with it. Our target was set up on a stand (really busy place - we were set up in the rifle area) and it was a bit off balance, but c'est la vie.

No matter your denomination it's nice to have a celebration in the midst of the winter torment. Personally I was raised evangelical christian but at this point I'm mostly atheist.. occasionally agnostic. But living in country that's been frozen for the last 6 weeks straight with temps of -30"C, a celebration of good food and drink is fine by me. So I enjoy and try not to get too caught up in personal issues.

I'm dressed in my christmas eve pj's. It's a tradition my mom started years ago, to all open one single present on christmas eve and to always have it be a new set of pj's... Mine this year are red plaid flannel with a black tank top. Oh soo sexy, I know. But terribly comfortable.

Anyways, I hope you're all dressed in some overly comfortable pj's getting ready to curl up. And that if you celebrate christmas/capitalism/or just plain ol' santa that tomorrow morning is wonderful and full of joy.


Good night.

I've been listening to a lot of DeadMaus5 lately. <3

Here's another from my shoot with Carla aka CarminaFoto. And this is where I gush my love for this woman and her mad skills! She's so skilled, and totally awesome. I must say I'm really comfortable shooting with Carla and I look forward to 2010. There are a few people I've met lately that I can vibe with really well and I'm starting to get inspired again. I'm dreaming up less and less elaborate dinners and doing less crafts... and getting more and more photo dreams.... It's been a long time since I felt I was in tune with 'this' and I'm looking forward to it.

Being around artists that you can pitch an idea to and know that they can pull it off. Is refreshing. Time to start doing P90x and get my lazy ass back into tip top shape. ;)

Since I'll most likely be getting coal for Christmas I thought it couldn't hurt to sit on a naughty Santas lap!! It's an awesome giveaway over on fetlife, only for the 18+ and the daring.

http://fetlife.com/sit_on_santas_lap

Today was terrible.

My son is teething and threw the most embarassing fit in the mall today. You can't even imagine. It's because he's just a huge computer enthusiast (yes at the age of two he's addicted) that when we left the Mac store he cried literally - till we got home.

None of the regular 'temper' things are working to calm him and I may soon need to seek out real help to deal with this cause it's becoming more and more frequent. (Which means i'm slowly loosing my mental health over it.........)

And I lost my "job". I'd been watching a 11month old boy for the last few months in a dire attempt to stay home with my son and still not drive us too far into debt. Returning to work isn't an option cause what I made before baby would cover daycare and little else. Sad. I know, but I was 18-19 & just out of school. So I'm faced with this option of paying 50% of my 'day' job to someone else.... or doing an eve/wkd job.... or dayhome thing.

Well the dayhome thing has proven itself to be totally unreliable and nearly useless. And eve/wkd work is proving harder to find than I had hoped for someone of such steller references as I.... And a day job isn't an option. Oh and did I mention I plan on going back to school at some point in the next 6 months?

Oh shit yeah. This is awesome. The question is what shitty degrading job should I take to pay the bills till I go to school? Wonderful

Seee... now that I'm 'out' of a job (despite how 'for the moment' it may be) I'm wondering if I should carry through with getting P a puppy for christmas or not. Bills > puppy food.

*le sigh*

My other half has gone away for the weekend to see his family and I'm home alone with our son. I'm kinda totally weirded out being home alone. My bed is cold and the house is making some scary weird noises! So, I thought I'd put on my scariest most awesomest new shirt and try to scare the house demons away. Not sure it's working as well as playing lots and lots of Massive Attack is for settling my restless heart ... but it's all working together to be oddly settling.

I haven't been alone in our place .... in ..... the 4 years we've lived here? Maybe more. I've done trips elsewhere for work - but somehow it's different when he's the one that's away. And I'm the one left behind to sleep in our empty bed kinda, hanging out alone in our haunted place alone with the weird house noises...... Weird....

I think I need to throw a makeshift party tomorrow night cause two nights of this... I just don't know if I'll make it.

It's been a long time since Carla and I have gotten together to shoot. Far too long!

She has a gallery show coming up in town which most of the shots from this shoot were specifically for... So you guys should all make sure you come on out for it. It's December 10th at her studio downtown. I'll post the flyer for it in a few days for confirmation, but think of this as your 'save the date post'. It's top secret and nothing like the shot above... but that's the awesome part.

And! If you've always wanted to have me naked on your wall this would be a perfect opportunity to come down and support local artists... and get your very own naked ME for your wall. You know youuuu wannnna.

All of these pictures were taken by Toni Field.



Me & Marla

I was the only one vain foolish enough to not wear a parka.

I love the way Marlas chapeau accents her cute hair.

I have no idea what cause the grumpy faces but I love it!
The beautiful Beatrix May.

Dale, Colin & Chris



The twinsies. Ruzz & Colin.

So Monday night was the Model Republic Meet Up at Vicious Circle. I wasn't sure initially if I'd go or not but after some thought I realized I'd be silly not to attend.

Some of my favorites were there - Ruzz, Colin, Miss Marla & Beatrix May to name a few. And one notable who was missing because of illness was Carmina and she was dearly missed. But really anytime my girl crushes are going out I can't help but want to meet up with them. <3

Overall it was a great time! We had a few drinks, talked shoots, tech talk and future projects. And it looks like I might be doing another music video thing in a couple weeks that led from a conversation there. Yay. I met some lovely people and reconnected with some fabulous buddies. I'm really looking forward to more of these events but I'm totally on board for the idea that we move them over to someones residence, cause I'm not so keen on supporting 8dollar beer night at any venue. And maybe not on a monday night might help as well. ^_-

Only one small wet blanket that I'll leave nameless. It was someone I'd collaborated with in the past whose professional relationship I'd led dissolve over time after desciding that things needed a break and had become stale. Unfortunately the other party was still slightly bitter. Regardless it was low key and I don't think anyone picked up on that persons negativity and I tried not to let it bother me. And really while I may act like a bit of a bitch amongst friends, it's just jesting amongst friends. I try rather hard not to let something like this particular situation stand out or over take a totally awsome fun event.

I'm waiting on Tony to post the pictures on facebook and then I'll post a few from the night out. I'm sure they'll all be silly faces but totally awesome and cute. Can't wait to see them. :)